A good mentor regardless of whether it be in sports or business takes into consideration where you are in life, who you are in life, where you want to go in life, how realistic your goals are with respect to your skill level, and help quide you to reaching your goals.
A mentor is also there to help you work through the never ending set of challenges that will naturally make up the ups and down encountered on the journey.
The athletes I work with often get caught up in the technical aspects of their performance and focus on what it is they are not doing well rather than focusing on the process. Its wise for the performer to know where they are now, how well they are doing, and the importance of establishing a plan for where they want to go complete with strategies and objectives for getting them there. A mentor will bring you back to focusing on developing and sticking to an established plan of action.
A team of players whether it be in sports or business have two primary goals; (1) to get joy out of what they are doing, and (2) to perform well at what they are doing. However, if the team is made up of a group of individuals focused on individual achievement they may have challenges working toward the common goal. A team with a coach that has a team development plan with specific strategies and structure for going about reaching performance goals will more than likely have a better chance of success. Structure, discipline, solid coaching skills, and clear goal direction will give the team a purpose. A mentor can be the driving force behind this approach.
Finding the right person to be your mentor actually depends on your goals. First determine what is is you wish to accomplish and identify a timeline. Be specific about your 2-3 long term goals, honestly and objectively access your skill set in relation to your goals, and make a list of the roadblocks keeping you from reaching your goals. Armed with this information you now have a purpose and a fundamental idea for your mentor search.
If its a sports perfomance coach you seek (not a sports skill coach like a swing coach for golf, or a tennis pro for improving your backhand) you will define your search based on characterisitics associated with performance coaching. Performance improvement coaches will focus on helping you to establish a plan which might include finding a swing coach, but also will include providing guidance on the process and direction you might take in reaching your goals. They can serve as a great sounding board and a trusted advisor. Most importantly the mentor should come with the credentials and success illustrating their ability to teach and guide you in the areas you need to get stronger in. References of their past success will go a long way to reinforce credentials and their strengths at helping you get to where you want to go with your performance.
A mentor, unlike a coach (may have been a coach, or an athlete at some point) will have the experience of walking the walk or experiencing what it is you are experiencing. They know the pitfalls, roadblocks, politics, emotional challenges, and how to best cope with them. The mentor has knowledge of how to execute a plan, how to monitor a plan, how to track performance, what to coach and what to let go, and how to help you establish a process orientation that will lead to success.
Should you need help or guidance with finding a mentor please do not hesitate to contact me at jre@protexsports.com or inquire about my 12 week Mental Edge Performance Development and Tracking Program. This 12 week program is designed to mentor athletes through a process of goal creation, performance plan development and execution, and finally to monitor performance and build success.
http://www.protexsports.com/
https://twitter.com/ProtexSports
Cheers
John
Thursday, June 25, 2009
Wednesday, June 24, 2009
Practice SMART Perform SMART
Working smarter does not mean working harder. It simply means practicing on the areas of your game you wish to improve requires a plan with specific objectives. It's not about the quantity of the work you do, but the quality of the work on the specific task areas of the skill needing refinement.
Focus on what is absolutely critical to improve the skill. If it happens to be your golf swing be sure to know exactly what it is with your golf swing you wish to correct. If you don't know what the issue is then seek out a swing coach to analyze your swing
Once you have a better understanding of the technical weaknesses of your swing you must establish a set of performance objectives focused on correcting that aspect of your swing.
When you establish objectives use the SMART principle. Objectives must be:
1. Specific
2. Measurable
3. Achievable
4. Relevant
5. Timely.
The next step is to assign task related exercises associates with each objective. The practice plan will focus on these task related exercises in order of importance with larger motor refinements first and then finer motor movements last. Success is achieved in successive steps. Achieve mastery with one task and then move onto the next task. By taking these serial related steps to your plan you will enhance the skill, build confidence, and trust in the skill execution.
I talk quite a bit about the process of establishing a plan in my new book, Mental Edge: Success Tracking and Journaling System.
Go to http://www.protexsports.com/protexsports_products.htm and learn how to get access to my new book. If you have questions please email me at jre@protexsports.com
Cheers
John
Focus on what is absolutely critical to improve the skill. If it happens to be your golf swing be sure to know exactly what it is with your golf swing you wish to correct. If you don't know what the issue is then seek out a swing coach to analyze your swing
Once you have a better understanding of the technical weaknesses of your swing you must establish a set of performance objectives focused on correcting that aspect of your swing.
When you establish objectives use the SMART principle. Objectives must be:
1. Specific
2. Measurable
3. Achievable
4. Relevant
5. Timely.
The next step is to assign task related exercises associates with each objective. The practice plan will focus on these task related exercises in order of importance with larger motor refinements first and then finer motor movements last. Success is achieved in successive steps. Achieve mastery with one task and then move onto the next task. By taking these serial related steps to your plan you will enhance the skill, build confidence, and trust in the skill execution.
I talk quite a bit about the process of establishing a plan in my new book, Mental Edge: Success Tracking and Journaling System.
Go to http://www.protexsports.com/protexsports_products.htm and learn how to get access to my new book. If you have questions please email me at jre@protexsports.com
Cheers
John
Mental Congestion - Undermines Confidence
Mental congestion undermines our confidence, but it also buries our mental instincts and destroys our spontaneity. If we are constantly bombarded with unorganized thoughts, how can we perform spontaneously?
People often speak of the mind-body connection, but I believe the mind is the one part of the equation most people take for granted when it comes to excellence in performance. Don’t get me wrong, physical strength, and skill mastery are critical ingredients to performance success; however, it’s the other 90% that can make all the difference. As Yogi Berra famously stated, “Baseball is 90% mental, the other half is physical.” His message simply points out that we are not generally aware of the importance of the mind in performance achievement.
People who are in touch with their bodies, and then connect with the powers of their minds, think more clearly, have a healthier dialog with their sub-conscious (self-talk), have less experiences with depression, and generally have increased amounts of energy. When the mind becomes a “go to” tool for performance enhancement, the mind-body connection can become a spiritual experience with gratitude and appreciation for the life we have. The outcome of performance no longer becomes the focus, but the process and joy of the experience is what matters most. As Oprah Winfrey says, “If you start focusing on what you have and what you’re grateful for, you will begin to see more.”
Once you commit to perform at a level that is both on a mental and physical plane, the actual process can become an amazing experience. When the mind and body meet on an equal playing field and each trusts one another to take action in mutual support, thoughts of failure will begin to disappear.
Regularly exercising the mind will contribute to lowering the risks of heart disease, cancer, depression, and many other health problems. Reducing mind chatter lowers stress, helps with weight control, definitely increases ones positive outlook on life, and, therefore, produces clarity and, consequently, improves performance. Without the harmony between the body and mind, we would not be able to exist. The cooperative relationship between mind and body reduces mind chatter and, therefore, provides a more composed and rational approach to addressing the challenges presented to us.
“The quieter you are, the more you can hear.” Bama Ram Dass
For more information on strategies to beat Mental Congestion and enhance performance please send me an email at jre@protexsports.com
People often speak of the mind-body connection, but I believe the mind is the one part of the equation most people take for granted when it comes to excellence in performance. Don’t get me wrong, physical strength, and skill mastery are critical ingredients to performance success; however, it’s the other 90% that can make all the difference. As Yogi Berra famously stated, “Baseball is 90% mental, the other half is physical.” His message simply points out that we are not generally aware of the importance of the mind in performance achievement.
People who are in touch with their bodies, and then connect with the powers of their minds, think more clearly, have a healthier dialog with their sub-conscious (self-talk), have less experiences with depression, and generally have increased amounts of energy. When the mind becomes a “go to” tool for performance enhancement, the mind-body connection can become a spiritual experience with gratitude and appreciation for the life we have. The outcome of performance no longer becomes the focus, but the process and joy of the experience is what matters most. As Oprah Winfrey says, “If you start focusing on what you have and what you’re grateful for, you will begin to see more.”
Once you commit to perform at a level that is both on a mental and physical plane, the actual process can become an amazing experience. When the mind and body meet on an equal playing field and each trusts one another to take action in mutual support, thoughts of failure will begin to disappear.
Regularly exercising the mind will contribute to lowering the risks of heart disease, cancer, depression, and many other health problems. Reducing mind chatter lowers stress, helps with weight control, definitely increases ones positive outlook on life, and, therefore, produces clarity and, consequently, improves performance. Without the harmony between the body and mind, we would not be able to exist. The cooperative relationship between mind and body reduces mind chatter and, therefore, provides a more composed and rational approach to addressing the challenges presented to us.
“The quieter you are, the more you can hear.” Bama Ram Dass
For more information on strategies to beat Mental Congestion and enhance performance please send me an email at jre@protexsports.com
Sunday, November 11, 2007
Stress and Burnout in Youth Sports
Hello Everyone:
Athletes, parents and sports psychology professionals often have different ideas about burnout in sports. Research indicates that burnout gets in the way of a young athlete's joy in sport participation, participation longevity, and ultimately performance success.
A beginning baseball player has a limited idea whether he is competent or not at the skills associated with hitting a baseball. Typically, the beginner is to a large degree participating in the sport because he senses he can play with some level of skill, it is fun, and provides an opportunity to socialize and be with friends. Over time the athlete either succeeds or fails to master the concepts of executing a specific skill. Stress and frustration can develop as a result of many factors.
Burnout "is a condition of psychological, emotional, and sometimes physical withdrawal from sport participation as a direct result from chronic stress", Rotella, (1991). Each year many young athletes turn their heads from sport participation because of their frustrating "experiences" in sport. Sport psychology research points out that it is the sum total of experiences over time, the judgment of ones performance, the pressure to perform, the stress of performing, the boredom, lack of joy, and the goals that others place on the athlete that ultimately lead the athlete to burnout and early retirement from sport.
Stress plays an important precursory role in burnout. Stress in reference to burnout is defined "as a perceived imbalance between perceived demands and perceived response capabilities", Martens, (1977). Each person has a tolerance level for stress. If the stress becomes considerably greater than the tolerance, a person will suffer from emotional stress and its negative consequences, Humphrey, (2003).
Another noteworthy concept offered by Henchen (1986), makes a distinction between burnout and staleness. "Staleness, he claims, "refers to an overall physical and emotional state", which can be seen as an early yellow flag of a more advanced negative state that may follow. If "staleness" is caught early enough, it is possible to "nip" burnout before it reaches a more advanced stage which may result in the athlete quitting the sport all together. Burnout is an averse condition that takes time to develop and therefore is gradual in onset. Coaches, parents, and others that make up a young athletes support system are well advised to pay close attention to these symptoms.
Sport Psychology professionals generally agree that at the core of burnout is a general combination of the following symptoms: "lack of energy, exhaustion, sleeplessness, some degree of depression, tension, irritability, anger, headaches or other physical ailments, decreased performance, a tendency to internalize all failures, disillusionment with sports, and loss of confidence", Rotella (1991). Athletes today are often under great pressure from parents, and coaches to specialize at an early age.
Research indicates the most salient reasons why children participate in sports include; for fun, learning a new skill, excitement, action, and to experiences an ultimate challenge. Above all, however fun is the highest reason for participation in youth sports. With this in mind, Cohn (1990), insignificantly points out that, "lack of fun and enjoyment", is a common reason for feeling burned out. There are alternatives and interventions that can be implemented to catch burnout in its early stages.
Resarch suggests; parent education, a healthly life balance, enabling the child to have input into practice and competitive situations, and congnitive-behavioral techniques such as the use of positive self-talk and relaxation training can be excellent alternative strategies to keep young continued interest in their sport of choice. Above all, and at whatever cost, it is critical to help children and young athletes to learn to enjoy their sport participation.
Professional practice experience has illustrated that athletes suffering from buronout typically encounter significant issues with positive performance success, and achievement. My experience has shown that athletes challenged by burnout lack self-efficacy, self-esteem, motivation, are often embarrassed, and feel signifant pressure from coaches, and parents to achieve higher levels of performance success. The athlete reaches a point where they are simply no longer enjoying participation, fail to perform with a process and present tense mindset, and want to get away from active sport participation at all costs. Often times these athletes feel like "burnt toast" and crumble under the drudgery of practice and the pressures of competiton. As a result, they often attempt to self-sabotage their performances consciously in an effort to get off the hook. No matter how hard the athlete may try, their performance is just not up to par with the other athletes. They may have grown past their "prime" with a particular sport or no longer wish to deal with the expectations of others. If pressured to continue the athlete will often quit the sport and carry unwanted resentment into the future. The resentment can and often does carry forward into other aspects of their lives. In the beginning everything was fun, but for many the fun turns to work at too early an age. As a result we may lose a promising athlete.
My message to parents, coaches, and others making up the support system of young athletes is this; give the athlete the opportunity to grow, experience, and have fun without the pressure to perform. In time they will decide on their own whether or not they are cut out for competition. Give the young athlete as much space as they need to explore as many sports as they can during their pre-and early teen years. At some point they will make a decision about whether they wish to become more specialized or simply play to enjoy the intrinsic value that comes with competition. By giving the athlete the freedom to "choose" without pressure they learn that life is not all about performance demands, but rather who they are is determined by how they see themselves in the world in relation to their life experiences.
Thanks for reading. Please post your comments. I would love to hear from you.
All the best,
John
Athletes, parents and sports psychology professionals often have different ideas about burnout in sports. Research indicates that burnout gets in the way of a young athlete's joy in sport participation, participation longevity, and ultimately performance success.
A beginning baseball player has a limited idea whether he is competent or not at the skills associated with hitting a baseball. Typically, the beginner is to a large degree participating in the sport because he senses he can play with some level of skill, it is fun, and provides an opportunity to socialize and be with friends. Over time the athlete either succeeds or fails to master the concepts of executing a specific skill. Stress and frustration can develop as a result of many factors.
Burnout "is a condition of psychological, emotional, and sometimes physical withdrawal from sport participation as a direct result from chronic stress", Rotella, (1991). Each year many young athletes turn their heads from sport participation because of their frustrating "experiences" in sport. Sport psychology research points out that it is the sum total of experiences over time, the judgment of ones performance, the pressure to perform, the stress of performing, the boredom, lack of joy, and the goals that others place on the athlete that ultimately lead the athlete to burnout and early retirement from sport.
Stress plays an important precursory role in burnout. Stress in reference to burnout is defined "as a perceived imbalance between perceived demands and perceived response capabilities", Martens, (1977). Each person has a tolerance level for stress. If the stress becomes considerably greater than the tolerance, a person will suffer from emotional stress and its negative consequences, Humphrey, (2003).
Another noteworthy concept offered by Henchen (1986), makes a distinction between burnout and staleness. "Staleness, he claims, "refers to an overall physical and emotional state", which can be seen as an early yellow flag of a more advanced negative state that may follow. If "staleness" is caught early enough, it is possible to "nip" burnout before it reaches a more advanced stage which may result in the athlete quitting the sport all together. Burnout is an averse condition that takes time to develop and therefore is gradual in onset. Coaches, parents, and others that make up a young athletes support system are well advised to pay close attention to these symptoms.
Sport Psychology professionals generally agree that at the core of burnout is a general combination of the following symptoms: "lack of energy, exhaustion, sleeplessness, some degree of depression, tension, irritability, anger, headaches or other physical ailments, decreased performance, a tendency to internalize all failures, disillusionment with sports, and loss of confidence", Rotella (1991). Athletes today are often under great pressure from parents, and coaches to specialize at an early age.
Research indicates the most salient reasons why children participate in sports include; for fun, learning a new skill, excitement, action, and to experiences an ultimate challenge. Above all, however fun is the highest reason for participation in youth sports. With this in mind, Cohn (1990), insignificantly points out that, "lack of fun and enjoyment", is a common reason for feeling burned out. There are alternatives and interventions that can be implemented to catch burnout in its early stages.
Resarch suggests; parent education, a healthly life balance, enabling the child to have input into practice and competitive situations, and congnitive-behavioral techniques such as the use of positive self-talk and relaxation training can be excellent alternative strategies to keep young continued interest in their sport of choice. Above all, and at whatever cost, it is critical to help children and young athletes to learn to enjoy their sport participation.
Professional practice experience has illustrated that athletes suffering from buronout typically encounter significant issues with positive performance success, and achievement. My experience has shown that athletes challenged by burnout lack self-efficacy, self-esteem, motivation, are often embarrassed, and feel signifant pressure from coaches, and parents to achieve higher levels of performance success. The athlete reaches a point where they are simply no longer enjoying participation, fail to perform with a process and present tense mindset, and want to get away from active sport participation at all costs. Often times these athletes feel like "burnt toast" and crumble under the drudgery of practice and the pressures of competiton. As a result, they often attempt to self-sabotage their performances consciously in an effort to get off the hook. No matter how hard the athlete may try, their performance is just not up to par with the other athletes. They may have grown past their "prime" with a particular sport or no longer wish to deal with the expectations of others. If pressured to continue the athlete will often quit the sport and carry unwanted resentment into the future. The resentment can and often does carry forward into other aspects of their lives. In the beginning everything was fun, but for many the fun turns to work at too early an age. As a result we may lose a promising athlete.
My message to parents, coaches, and others making up the support system of young athletes is this; give the athlete the opportunity to grow, experience, and have fun without the pressure to perform. In time they will decide on their own whether or not they are cut out for competition. Give the young athlete as much space as they need to explore as many sports as they can during their pre-and early teen years. At some point they will make a decision about whether they wish to become more specialized or simply play to enjoy the intrinsic value that comes with competition. By giving the athlete the freedom to "choose" without pressure they learn that life is not all about performance demands, but rather who they are is determined by how they see themselves in the world in relation to their life experiences.
Thanks for reading. Please post your comments. I would love to hear from you.
All the best,
John
Wednesday, October 10, 2007
Always Look Up - Smell The Roses - Appreciate Life
To All - I finally return:
Things have been incredibly busy these past weeks. I have just completed the manuscript for my new book, Getting it Right - Defeating Perfectionism in Sports. I have been traveling giving talks and meeting with athletes all over the country. My work here in the bay area never ceases to slow down. Each and every day I am happier and happier because I blessed to be able to do the work that I do.
Athletes come to my web site, call me, and send emails looking for help with their performance in sports, and in life. Every athlete wants to be better at what they do. It seems as thought every athlete wants to impress others, be seen by others, and be rewarded in some way for what they do. Most often these athletes are disconnected with all the things they have accomplished and all the success they have had. It seems as though the thought pattern is more on what is around the corner rather than appreciating and "Smelling The Roses" of their successes. After all it is the past success, and the joy of the experiences that have come before that so often goes unrecognized, because it is so often what is "next" that takes precedence.
I am blessed to live in San Francisco; in my opinion one of the most beautiful if not THE most beautiful city in the United States. Whenever I am out for a walk, which is often, I am forever looking up. This practice often times gets me in trouble for I am regularily walking into something, someone, or tripping over my own feet. There is so much beauty in the character, and architecture of this city I am forever seeing something new, different, and inspiring. One day my wife so eloquently reminded me to watch where I was walkng and to pay attention to what was in front of me. There is so much beauty to see when I look up I forget to look down. Every one looks down - I want to look up. I want to see the beauty in things that others miss.
Just this past weekend I was traveling back from Raleigh NC where my wife and I had been visiting friends. I had been deeply engrossed in reading a book by a friend Mike Robbins, Focus on the Good Stuf The Power of Appreciation. I highly recommend this book. The message it delivers is inspiring, enlightening, and very powerful. I recommend this book to everyone - young and old. As I take a slight break from reading, I and am drawn to the passengers sitting beside me. After introducing my self I learn that Crystal (mom) is traveling with Christopher - age 7, Michael - age 12, and their grandmother. I also happen to observe there are wearing Make A Wish Foundation baseball caps. Intrigued by this observation I begin a process of getting to know the mother and the the two boys. The family is traveling to Hawaii to accomplish Michael's wish to see Pearl Harbor. I come to find out that both boys, since birth, have been challenged with a rare genetic disease called OXPHOS. For more on this disease please go to UMDF.org This disease attacks the mitochondria or outer lining of the cells in our body. The DNA in their bodies is missing a series of key enzymes that enable them to fight disease, digest food and a host of other things. Over time the disease limits their ability to fight off bacteria and in time their organs, (kidneys, liver, intestine, stomach) slowly cease to function. Christopher has been on an organ donor wait list for stomach, intestine, liver, and kidney for many months. He carries with him a small bag which includes two IVpumps, a bag of nutrients (food) and a bag of fat lipids. The lack of cellular enzymes in Christophers body keeps him from being able to digest food. He is attached to this carrying pouch 24 hours a day. This is his lifeline. Each and every day they live on the edge of life and death and have come to accept the reality of living day-day.
After we landed in San Francisco and waked into the terminal I asked my wife if we could sit down for a few minutes before going on to baggage claim. Concerned, she asked me if everything was ok. In response, I started to cry. I was overtaken by this families misfortune, and unfortunate circumstances. At that moment I looked up at my wife, gave her a big hug, and told her how much I loved her, appreciated her, and expressed how lucky I was that she is a part of my life. As we walked to baggage claim I remembered something Crystal had said to me. She said, the boys have been living with this disease all their lives. They don't know any different. They struggle every day, but they never complain. They know what they are up against, and know life is a day to day thing, but they never focus on what they don't have. They try and live life as normally as possible in spite of their limitations. They live for the moment, they live for today because that is their reality.
In closing, I would like to say to everyone reading this blog entry - Look up each and every day and take notice of the things you pay little or no attention to. Smell the roses, count your blessings, and appreciate the little things in life. Life is fragile - do not take it for granted. Be grateful for what you have! Focus on the Good Stuff. Appreciate life!
Thank you
John
Things have been incredibly busy these past weeks. I have just completed the manuscript for my new book, Getting it Right - Defeating Perfectionism in Sports. I have been traveling giving talks and meeting with athletes all over the country. My work here in the bay area never ceases to slow down. Each and every day I am happier and happier because I blessed to be able to do the work that I do.
Athletes come to my web site, call me, and send emails looking for help with their performance in sports, and in life. Every athlete wants to be better at what they do. It seems as thought every athlete wants to impress others, be seen by others, and be rewarded in some way for what they do. Most often these athletes are disconnected with all the things they have accomplished and all the success they have had. It seems as though the thought pattern is more on what is around the corner rather than appreciating and "Smelling The Roses" of their successes. After all it is the past success, and the joy of the experiences that have come before that so often goes unrecognized, because it is so often what is "next" that takes precedence.
I am blessed to live in San Francisco; in my opinion one of the most beautiful if not THE most beautiful city in the United States. Whenever I am out for a walk, which is often, I am forever looking up. This practice often times gets me in trouble for I am regularily walking into something, someone, or tripping over my own feet. There is so much beauty in the character, and architecture of this city I am forever seeing something new, different, and inspiring. One day my wife so eloquently reminded me to watch where I was walkng and to pay attention to what was in front of me. There is so much beauty to see when I look up I forget to look down. Every one looks down - I want to look up. I want to see the beauty in things that others miss.
Just this past weekend I was traveling back from Raleigh NC where my wife and I had been visiting friends. I had been deeply engrossed in reading a book by a friend Mike Robbins, Focus on the Good Stuf The Power of Appreciation. I highly recommend this book. The message it delivers is inspiring, enlightening, and very powerful. I recommend this book to everyone - young and old. As I take a slight break from reading, I and am drawn to the passengers sitting beside me. After introducing my self I learn that Crystal (mom) is traveling with Christopher - age 7, Michael - age 12, and their grandmother. I also happen to observe there are wearing Make A Wish Foundation baseball caps. Intrigued by this observation I begin a process of getting to know the mother and the the two boys. The family is traveling to Hawaii to accomplish Michael's wish to see Pearl Harbor. I come to find out that both boys, since birth, have been challenged with a rare genetic disease called OXPHOS. For more on this disease please go to UMDF.org This disease attacks the mitochondria or outer lining of the cells in our body. The DNA in their bodies is missing a series of key enzymes that enable them to fight disease, digest food and a host of other things. Over time the disease limits their ability to fight off bacteria and in time their organs, (kidneys, liver, intestine, stomach) slowly cease to function. Christopher has been on an organ donor wait list for stomach, intestine, liver, and kidney for many months. He carries with him a small bag which includes two IVpumps, a bag of nutrients (food) and a bag of fat lipids. The lack of cellular enzymes in Christophers body keeps him from being able to digest food. He is attached to this carrying pouch 24 hours a day. This is his lifeline. Each and every day they live on the edge of life and death and have come to accept the reality of living day-day.
After we landed in San Francisco and waked into the terminal I asked my wife if we could sit down for a few minutes before going on to baggage claim. Concerned, she asked me if everything was ok. In response, I started to cry. I was overtaken by this families misfortune, and unfortunate circumstances. At that moment I looked up at my wife, gave her a big hug, and told her how much I loved her, appreciated her, and expressed how lucky I was that she is a part of my life. As we walked to baggage claim I remembered something Crystal had said to me. She said, the boys have been living with this disease all their lives. They don't know any different. They struggle every day, but they never complain. They know what they are up against, and know life is a day to day thing, but they never focus on what they don't have. They try and live life as normally as possible in spite of their limitations. They live for the moment, they live for today because that is their reality.
In closing, I would like to say to everyone reading this blog entry - Look up each and every day and take notice of the things you pay little or no attention to. Smell the roses, count your blessings, and appreciate the little things in life. Life is fragile - do not take it for granted. Be grateful for what you have! Focus on the Good Stuff. Appreciate life!
Thank you
John
Tuesday, May 8, 2007
Coaching the Perfectionist Young Athlete
Often I hear from athletes or parents of athletes who worry about their or their child's sport performance. Athletes, or parents for that matter, who demand high levels of performance are rarely satisified with incremental levels of performance achievement because they set the standard of acceptable performance extremely high. When the standard is not achieved, they can be very self-critical. These athletes, or parents of athletes have perfectionist traits.
Perfectionistic athletes criticize themselves for making mistakes, often hold high expectations for themselves, get frustrated easily after making mistakes, engage in negative self-talk, are focused on results or outcomes, and rarely enjoy playing their sport.
On the flip side of the coin, these athletes have an incredibly strong work ethic, are highly motivated, committed to their goals, and want nothing more than to learn and improve. It 's this deeply strong work ethic and strong motivation that keeps them from seeing the forest through the trees. In fact, most athletes display at least some "perfectionistic" traits at some point in their athletic careers. I know because I was a perfectionist!!
The "wall" that blocks these athletes from performing up to their abilities is their extremely high demands for their performance. There is little room for error in the perfectionists performance. Athletes that are perfectionists (try to be perfect), and can undermine their own performance potential very quickly. The strict expectations about their performance drive them to fear failure. When they fear failure they worry too much, are anxious, and stressed out because they worry about pleasing others, or - results - like statistics, goals, scores, or winning become most important. They believe performance results are what makes them "good" human beings, and that others will respect them more if they perform to the highest levels.
If you identify yourself as a perfectionist, or if your young athlete has perfectionistic tendencies, it is important to identify the traits that may be self-fulling and blocking their confidence, performance succes, and enjoyment in their sport.
Think about a most recent performance. Did you or your child want to win so bad that the pressure and stress of this demand caused anxiousness at critical performance times in the game? Does the athlete play tentatively, with caution, and unsure about the next move at critical times? Can you see that trying too hard simply sabotages a would be performance success? Is practice an exercise in being perfect or an exercise in learning how to execute? Does the athlete practice hours and hours without achieving success?
One important task to implement...
Parents of or any perfectionistic athlete that is uncomfortable with their performance levels and tries too hard to be like "Mike" or "adhere to" the demands of others is setting unrealistic goals for their individual level of talent. For these athletes it's all about the "demand" of performance rather than setting realistic performance goals and "striving" to reach them. The key suggestion for parents and all athletes alike is to replace these "demanding" expectations with simple, but challenging and achievable process goals. These goals enhance self-esteem, build confidence, and are designed to improve performance incrementally.
For example, say your athlete believes he or she should pitch to win every game. You might suggest the athlete replace the demand "I must win every game" mind set with some simple process oriented objectives: 1) Focus on the target each and every pitch. 2) Commit to being in the present one pitch at a time. 3) Believe you can execute each pitch.
To learn more about "perfectionism" and how to help the athlete confront it, and replace it with healthy strategies for success, please send me an email with your questions.
You will learn strategies to help:
1. Decide how much pressure is too much pressure
2. Tools to motivate athletes to master their sport
3. Help kids feel confident in sports and athletics
4. Help athletes to reduce the worry and anxiety about performance.
5. Simple strategies to help athletes cope with anger, frustration, and stress in sports.
6. What happens to athletes when they are burned out.
7. What to do when the coach is very demanding.
8. Provide parents with ideas and strategies communicating to their young athletes.
9. Provide athletes with self-support tools to implement after a defeat or mistake.
I look forward to talking with you soon.
Sincerely,
Coach John
Perfectionistic athletes criticize themselves for making mistakes, often hold high expectations for themselves, get frustrated easily after making mistakes, engage in negative self-talk, are focused on results or outcomes, and rarely enjoy playing their sport.
On the flip side of the coin, these athletes have an incredibly strong work ethic, are highly motivated, committed to their goals, and want nothing more than to learn and improve. It 's this deeply strong work ethic and strong motivation that keeps them from seeing the forest through the trees. In fact, most athletes display at least some "perfectionistic" traits at some point in their athletic careers. I know because I was a perfectionist!!
The "wall" that blocks these athletes from performing up to their abilities is their extremely high demands for their performance. There is little room for error in the perfectionists performance. Athletes that are perfectionists (try to be perfect), and can undermine their own performance potential very quickly. The strict expectations about their performance drive them to fear failure. When they fear failure they worry too much, are anxious, and stressed out because they worry about pleasing others, or - results - like statistics, goals, scores, or winning become most important. They believe performance results are what makes them "good" human beings, and that others will respect them more if they perform to the highest levels.
If you identify yourself as a perfectionist, or if your young athlete has perfectionistic tendencies, it is important to identify the traits that may be self-fulling and blocking their confidence, performance succes, and enjoyment in their sport.
Think about a most recent performance. Did you or your child want to win so bad that the pressure and stress of this demand caused anxiousness at critical performance times in the game? Does the athlete play tentatively, with caution, and unsure about the next move at critical times? Can you see that trying too hard simply sabotages a would be performance success? Is practice an exercise in being perfect or an exercise in learning how to execute? Does the athlete practice hours and hours without achieving success?
One important task to implement...
Parents of or any perfectionistic athlete that is uncomfortable with their performance levels and tries too hard to be like "Mike" or "adhere to" the demands of others is setting unrealistic goals for their individual level of talent. For these athletes it's all about the "demand" of performance rather than setting realistic performance goals and "striving" to reach them. The key suggestion for parents and all athletes alike is to replace these "demanding" expectations with simple, but challenging and achievable process goals. These goals enhance self-esteem, build confidence, and are designed to improve performance incrementally.
For example, say your athlete believes he or she should pitch to win every game. You might suggest the athlete replace the demand "I must win every game" mind set with some simple process oriented objectives: 1) Focus on the target each and every pitch. 2) Commit to being in the present one pitch at a time. 3) Believe you can execute each pitch.
To learn more about "perfectionism" and how to help the athlete confront it, and replace it with healthy strategies for success, please send me an email with your questions.
You will learn strategies to help:
1. Decide how much pressure is too much pressure
2. Tools to motivate athletes to master their sport
3. Help kids feel confident in sports and athletics
4. Help athletes to reduce the worry and anxiety about performance.
5. Simple strategies to help athletes cope with anger, frustration, and stress in sports.
6. What happens to athletes when they are burned out.
7. What to do when the coach is very demanding.
8. Provide parents with ideas and strategies communicating to their young athletes.
9. Provide athletes with self-support tools to implement after a defeat or mistake.
I look forward to talking with you soon.
Sincerely,
Coach John
Friday, April 27, 2007
The Confident Athlete
Hi Again:
Numerous publications, as well as research and studies currently in process indicate there is a strong relationship between an athletes self-confidence, belief in self, and their abilites to perform. Basically a confident player will outperform one of equal or more ability who is not as confident. How does this happen?
Essentially there are two general core belief systems when it comes to sport performance; 1) belief in self as a person, 2) belief in self as an athlete. What's tricky about this is that all too often the two belief systems get intertwined. If an athlete believes they are not the best at their respective sport or skill, they are typically not all that happy with themeselves. This unhappiness with their athletic performance can sometimes spill over into how they feel about themselves as human beings. This gets even more tricky because athletic ability is only one aspect of ones core belief system. We are, as humans, the sum of all of our individual attributes. Too much emphasis is often placed on one aspect of ones sum total of talents and this can send the self-belief system out of balance.
At its fundamental essence - young athletes want to simply have fun. They want to be good at what they do, but they do not want to be perfect. The "perfect syndrome" they develop is a learned system. High expectations are generally set - by external sources. Young athletes want so badly to achieve and receive approval - they will do anything possible to be the best. They do not want to fail or let anyone else down - least of all themselves. To achieve the expectations often set by others the athlete can develop a perfectinistic approach to their work ethic. Enjoyment starts to disappear when an activity that is supposed to be fun becomes work. We all know that perfection is quite difficult to achieve. Young athletes have no idea the hurdles they place in front of themselves when they try to achieve perfection. The #1 Killer of Confidence is Expectations.
Ok, so how does all of this affect Confidence. Confidence is task specific. The more repetitive success a young athlete can achieve - the more confidence they develop. The more confidence they develop the more they feel good about themselves. To complicate matters - if they struggle to achieve perfection - how likely will they achieve the "expectations" they have or someone else has set for them? Again, remember that happiness comes from within. Accomplishment and achievement helps us feel good because we are successful. If the expectation is set to high - the target is always moving - and therefore success is always moving. If the target is always moving and so the measurement of success is always moving - where is the fun in all of this?
Solution:
1. Parents - Fun is #1: Be mindful of what you say to your child athletes before and after their performances. Encourage competitive play, but more importantly encourage them to have fun without expectations of any kind.
2. No Expectations. Encourage your little athletes to "strive to achieve". Strive for success rather than avoiding failure. There is no "demand" connotation in the word "strive". Striving is about playing your best and not about end results. Remember, no matter how they performed - a child without "expectations" will forget about their poor performances quickly and be off and running onto the next activity. Children hang onto their performances if we as adults teach them to hang onto the past. The #1 Killer of Confidence is Expectations. Confidence is not an expectation.
3. Say Positive Things about Performance: Teach athletes to say positive things about themselves. It is very easy for an athlete to talk negatively about their performances. After each and every performance find at least three positive things about their performance and be sure to tell them. Believing in their perforfmance abilities at an early age helps to build strong self-esteem. Confident Athletes focus on success and the reasons to succeed not on end results.
4. Focus in the Moment: Teach the young athlete to enjoy each play and each moment of each play. There is always opportunity to improve on some aspect of the game or performance. Each play is only important for that moment in time. The next play is all that matters. Success and fun is not about the past play, the future play, end result or outcome of the game, match, or event. Performance achievement and the joy of participation comes from having fun in the moment.
If you would like to learn more about the fine elements of success and Confidence, simply send me an email at john@protexsports.com. I would be happy to provide more education or work with you or your athlete. The first step to solving any challenge is to first understand.
Ask yourself the following questions?
1. Do you believe in your ability as an athlete?
2. Do you see yourself as a winner?
3. Do you focus on the reasons to succeed?
4. How do you talk to yourself - in a positive or negative way about your performance?
5. Do you allow yourself to reward yourself for any accomplisment?
6. Can you remember that last time to had a successful performance? What was it?
7. Can you imagine yourself being successful?
If you answer no to any one of these questions you may have an issue with Confidence and could benefit from mental game confidence coaching.
I look forward to hearing from you.
Sincerely,
John
Numerous publications, as well as research and studies currently in process indicate there is a strong relationship between an athletes self-confidence, belief in self, and their abilites to perform. Basically a confident player will outperform one of equal or more ability who is not as confident. How does this happen?
Essentially there are two general core belief systems when it comes to sport performance; 1) belief in self as a person, 2) belief in self as an athlete. What's tricky about this is that all too often the two belief systems get intertwined. If an athlete believes they are not the best at their respective sport or skill, they are typically not all that happy with themeselves. This unhappiness with their athletic performance can sometimes spill over into how they feel about themselves as human beings. This gets even more tricky because athletic ability is only one aspect of ones core belief system. We are, as humans, the sum of all of our individual attributes. Too much emphasis is often placed on one aspect of ones sum total of talents and this can send the self-belief system out of balance.
At its fundamental essence - young athletes want to simply have fun. They want to be good at what they do, but they do not want to be perfect. The "perfect syndrome" they develop is a learned system. High expectations are generally set - by external sources. Young athletes want so badly to achieve and receive approval - they will do anything possible to be the best. They do not want to fail or let anyone else down - least of all themselves. To achieve the expectations often set by others the athlete can develop a perfectinistic approach to their work ethic. Enjoyment starts to disappear when an activity that is supposed to be fun becomes work. We all know that perfection is quite difficult to achieve. Young athletes have no idea the hurdles they place in front of themselves when they try to achieve perfection. The #1 Killer of Confidence is Expectations.
Ok, so how does all of this affect Confidence. Confidence is task specific. The more repetitive success a young athlete can achieve - the more confidence they develop. The more confidence they develop the more they feel good about themselves. To complicate matters - if they struggle to achieve perfection - how likely will they achieve the "expectations" they have or someone else has set for them? Again, remember that happiness comes from within. Accomplishment and achievement helps us feel good because we are successful. If the expectation is set to high - the target is always moving - and therefore success is always moving. If the target is always moving and so the measurement of success is always moving - where is the fun in all of this?
Solution:
1. Parents - Fun is #1: Be mindful of what you say to your child athletes before and after their performances. Encourage competitive play, but more importantly encourage them to have fun without expectations of any kind.
2. No Expectations. Encourage your little athletes to "strive to achieve". Strive for success rather than avoiding failure. There is no "demand" connotation in the word "strive". Striving is about playing your best and not about end results. Remember, no matter how they performed - a child without "expectations" will forget about their poor performances quickly and be off and running onto the next activity. Children hang onto their performances if we as adults teach them to hang onto the past. The #1 Killer of Confidence is Expectations. Confidence is not an expectation.
3. Say Positive Things about Performance: Teach athletes to say positive things about themselves. It is very easy for an athlete to talk negatively about their performances. After each and every performance find at least three positive things about their performance and be sure to tell them. Believing in their perforfmance abilities at an early age helps to build strong self-esteem. Confident Athletes focus on success and the reasons to succeed not on end results.
4. Focus in the Moment: Teach the young athlete to enjoy each play and each moment of each play. There is always opportunity to improve on some aspect of the game or performance. Each play is only important for that moment in time. The next play is all that matters. Success and fun is not about the past play, the future play, end result or outcome of the game, match, or event. Performance achievement and the joy of participation comes from having fun in the moment.
If you would like to learn more about the fine elements of success and Confidence, simply send me an email at john@protexsports.com. I would be happy to provide more education or work with you or your athlete. The first step to solving any challenge is to first understand.
Ask yourself the following questions?
1. Do you believe in your ability as an athlete?
2. Do you see yourself as a winner?
3. Do you focus on the reasons to succeed?
4. How do you talk to yourself - in a positive or negative way about your performance?
5. Do you allow yourself to reward yourself for any accomplisment?
6. Can you remember that last time to had a successful performance? What was it?
7. Can you imagine yourself being successful?
If you answer no to any one of these questions you may have an issue with Confidence and could benefit from mental game confidence coaching.
I look forward to hearing from you.
Sincerely,
John
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